I guess I will just say that I owe several posts about my recent adventures (Portland in December, New Year’s in Detroit, Lovely Los Angeles and Lucky London.)  However, today’s quick post is going to be about the soon-to-be-released film Chicago 10.

Last night my roommate invited me to go with her to a screening of the new Brett Morgen documentary Chicago 10 hosted by Generation Engage and Campus Progress.  This documentary couldn’t have entered my life at a more appropriate time.  After feeling guilty for my non-action in the recent months and my lackadaisical attitudes toward politics, it truly inspired me to voice my opinion.  I’ve been told by a dear friend that I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, but I’ve always thought of myself as being fickle and apathetic.  I suppose love and politics are usually seen as separate, but why?  Aren’t both about passion, believing in something or someone?  I think I’m falling in love with my beliefs again.

For me post-college has been a watering down of my ardent desires to change the world.  Changing people’s thoughts on homosexuality, race, culture…my list went on.  Somehow in the years since I’ve graduated I feel like I’ve been stuck between a rock and a…tree I’m hugging.  There have been many conversations with friends about how we’ve had to sometimes decide between our own needs and our beliefs.  It seems that many of my friends have felt that the bleeding-heart liberal stuff is unrealistic.  I even find myself wishing I could simply sign a check, that is if I was taking enough money to do so.  The real world sometimes seem to impose this belief we need to sacrifice a portion of our beliefs, or at least do a bit of self-censorship in order to be effective employees/ friends/ significant others.  I wonder how much of myself I’ve given up.  Is it just reality?  Like Robert Frost said, “I never dared to be a radical when young for fear it would make me conservative when old.”  Do we grow up with heads full of fanciful ideas on how to change the world and then either learn to conform to find personal success or rebel only to be seen as crazy?  I don’t know, although I suppose those are just two extremes. 

Last night left me with a feeling of empowerment.  I was inspired by Brett Morgen and Kevin Powell, who were the speakers at the post-screening discussion last night.  Even though I don’t necessarily agree with their beliefs, I see merit in their mainstream success.  They’re working toward something they believe in and they’re not shying away from their politics.  Maybe it’s just my natural tendency, but I usually back down from a fight–recalling now that last night I cringed at the sight of demonstrators in the documentary getting their heads bashed in with night sticks for simply being present.  Don’t want to get too personal, but I’m reminded of how this attitude permeates a large portion of my life.  I suppose I’m not a fighter, I’m more of a tree-hugging people pleaser.  However, after last night I realized I shouldn’t feel shame for my watered down beliefs.  Instead I should focus making a change, which I think I’m doing at my job.  Last night at the post-screening discussion there was a lot of talk about being more physically active in creating a dialogue and questioning the government.  I suppose I’d like to blame my childhood in Korea during the 80s.  I’d like to blame my after-school bus-rides home where all of us elementary schoolers sat with our heads in our laps, trying to escape the air in our tear gas-filled buses, the remnants from protests at nearby universities.  Its not fair to blame those demonstrations, but I don’t know what it is, it’s not in me.  I have felt for a long time I am just not the right person to do my job, because I should have more passion and be more of an activist. 

Yesterday’s discussion made me to begin thinking about how so many of us are apathetic and yet we remain frustrated with the way things are going, but are unsure about the methods to use to create a change.  So many encourage people to get out there and demonstrate–make a physically present statement.  It’s just not something I feel comfortable with or am able to do.  We all have our different convictions and beliefs, so although I don’t disagree with demonstrating, I feel it’s not my course of action.  I am not proud of the fact I’m unable to protest by means of demonstration.  However, I do feel much more inspired to continue doing the work that I do with youth-with education-with policy-making.  I feel like I’ve fallen in love with my job all over again, realizing how much more there is to do and how I can incorporate my strengths into my current position. 

I guess my final thoughts for today are this: do what you are comfortable with, do what you can, but don’t keep quiet.  People might criticize me for my inability to mobilize myself or do something radical, but that’s just not me, which is part of standing up for myself…and now I feel that good college activism rise up in me again.  I have a voice and I will use it in the ways I see fit.  So I guess I’m just trying to say: do something.  Do what you can.  Be present.  Be active.  Speak your mind.  Don’t be afraid to be yourself. 

Then when you’re done…go grab a burger with Evander Holyfield.  Wait, right, now I’m bragging.  That is what my roommate and I did after we watched Chicago 10.  Anyway, I encourage you to watch the documentary.  Feel empowered.  Go out and be active in something you believe in.  Right now…I’m working on Korea stuff…because hey, that’s what I am passionate about.

Rara Lucid.

Wednesday was a girl’s night out with my high school best friend Heather.  I stuck around the office a little while and went across the street to Crush Wines & Spirits to buy a housewarming gift for my friend Christine.  Not surprisingly, I selected a bottle of St. Germain’s Elderflower Liqueur.  I ran into my favorite wine guru, Chris, who is a sommelier of sorts at Crush.  Being the great wine seller he is, Chris comp-ed the gift wrap on the bottle.  He also offered to help me select a bottle of white wine I might enjoy.  I admitted to never having really enjoyed a glass of non-sparkling white wine, although have been known to indulge with a glass of Sauvignon Blanc.  Even with sparkling wines, dry Spanish Cava is my style, not sickly sweet Spumante.  Chris recommended a dry Riesling, yes a Riesling!  Then he vowed to one day wow me with a glass of sweeter white wine.  Ick, I look forward to challenging my palette!   Here is an interesting article about Elderflower Liqueur from Food & Wine.

After my trip to Crush, I went downtown on the V train to meet Heather at the Second Avenue and Houston Street stop.  We proceeded to Allen & Delancey, a new restaurant on the Lower East Side.

At Heather’s suggestion, I am going to note we were able to walk-in and immediately be seated at 7:30 PM on their first official night of business.  I love it when a restaurant does not insist on reservations, although it may have been too early in the night or the fact they’re newly opened (albeit with much hype 1, 2 & 3.  We were sat in their very cozy, homey dining room.  Heather assessed it as a cross between the Park Slope area bar, Union Hall and Sam Mason’s Tailor.  I got much more of a sense of a cross between Tailor and Gramercy Tavern, as it was so inviting and home-like.  I immediately noticed the inviting lights, antique mismatching wood furniture, heavy rust colored velvet curtain, antique lighting and collection of portrait paintings.

Service was pretty great for the first night. The wait staff was obviously flustered, yet jovial despite it being their first night.  Everyone was attentive, smiley and helpful.  There was some minor confusion, as our food, drink and dessert orders were taken by a couple of different people.

I’ll start with my major likes… I love it when restaurants include their entire menu online, in the format they present it at the restaurant.  They do this at Allen & Delancey, although they don’t have their cocktail menu posted online yet.  You can see their menu online, which is where I took the list below of exact names of the dishes we ate.

We started with the “Terrine of Guinea Hen, Smoked Ham Knuckle, Foie Gras, Beetroot.”  Heather and I asked to share the dish and the kitchen split it on two smaller plates. *love it when they do this, it’s like a, “hi, we’re thinking of ya!” sorta thing.* The dish was pretty well put together, layers of foie gras, veggies, ham, etc. It wasn’t as foie-y as I’d anticipated, but it made it less heavy, which was a bonus!

Roasted Dorade, Onion Marjoram Stew, Golden Eggplant Puree. This was the dish Heather ordered for herself, although we switched half way through our plates to have a true sampling of the two dishes. I was extremely excited about the Onion Marjoram Stew, as fresh marjoram is a favorite herb. The dish was good, but by the time I tasted it, the plate and food was cold and the eggplant a little bland. Overall it was an elegantly presented and flavored dish. Although, I must admit I was a little underwhelemed and would like to try some of their other tempting offerings.I ordered the Cabbage, Beef and Onion. This dish completes me. It was home cooked food on a plate, a beautifully presented plate, with everything I want to eat when I go to my father’s parent’s home. I wish this is what they served at weddings, as the stacked tower of potato slices reminded me of a four-star hotel’s ballroom food offerings. It was accompanied by three other little neatly presented components. A beef stuffed cabbage, like my grandmother’s Polish channeled creations (we’re not Polish). A tender cut of beef, which our server kindly informed me was supposed to be a short rib, but was changed to rib eye. Then there was the broiled onion, sweet, flavorful and tender. Yum. It was heaven. Heather complained the dish was cold by the time she got a bite, but I’d been lingering over the plate for well over twenty minutes before I switched, so my fault entirely! The only thing lacking in this dish was the presentation. There were four very groomed components cramped together in a checker board type formation, crowded together in a shallow bowl. I would have given each of the four pieces a chance to shine and glow. It was an ample dish, the portion was satisfying and tasty. By far my favorite dish. Heather thought it was too common, I thought it was an impecable masterpiece.Heather was feeling sick and only wanted to order one dessert. I’m not going to be pushy, so I went along with the delectable sounding Milk Chocolate Cremeux, Moist Pistachio Biscuit, Olive Oil Ice Cream. I was lured in by the Olive Oil Ice Cream, as I dreampt up visions of Mario Batali’s Olive Oil treats, Heather was intrigued by the combintation of flavors. She is not a huge chocolate fan. *wha?! yes, I know it’s crazy.* The dessert was good. Cocktails and drinks were pushed all night long, but the only thing we gave into was the Dalliancy, a Prosecco, Pomegranate, Elderflower Liqueur cocktail. Yum! The drink and dessert weren’t entirely memorable. Best of the food was the Cabbage, Beef, Onion dish. I would go back just for that, but would try all new starters, desserts and drinks.
After dinner, I had planned on going to my co-worker, Patrick’s, comedy show at The Cake Shop on Ludlow. Instead, Heather and I ventured to The Back Room for their Lucid Absinthe party. Man-o-man. I have never felt like such a heffer a day in my life. My size 6/8 build, 5’8 frame, has never in all of my East Asia bound years felt so large. Women skinny as toothpicks, men as groomed as Tom Ford himself! This was a people watching party! As Heather and I entered the bar we headed to the bar to try all of the offered cocktails. Eventually settleing on a Traditional Absinthe Cocktail, Mint Absinthe Cocktail and a Starry Night. I hadn’t realized absinthe is a anise or licorice flavored drink. I love me some Sambucca, but in it’s place. Not everywhere. Ick. These drinks were a bit medicinal tasting. The party was fascinating. I first noticed Jade from America’s Next Top Model fame, sitting near the bar with a very attractive man, she very undrunkenly pouring her cocktails on women standing too close to her. Next was the noticeable Brodie Jenner, of The Hills fame, who was flirting with the naked, painted-on-clothes Lucid Absinthe Fairies, as their nipples hung ripe for the glancing, barely covered in paint. I heard Mena Suvari was in the room beyond the faux library books, but I stuck in the main room, perched on a poof, watching Danny Masterson of That 70s Show fame dj popular hits. There were the men from menstyle.com dancing near Heather and I. One of them wrapped an arm around my waist, kissed the top of my head and whispered, “you’re absolutely fantastic,” in my ear as he walked out of the bar. Heather and I left soon there after, although not before I stuck my tongue out at Danny Masterson at the witness of his body guard and co-dj (yes, I said that). All in all, absinthe was interesting, but mostly because it attracted a strange assortment of people. The actual drink has none of it’s hallucanigenic properties. Lovely evening all in all. Too silly, too stupid and too drunk to know what to gather from it all.
Lucid indeed. Rara lucid.

Death & Company’s Nina’s Moan Cocktail

-1 ½ shot St. Germain Elderflower Liqueur

-1 shot Courvoisier or other cognac

-splash Angostura bitters

-top with sparkling wine

Pour ingredients into a chilled fluted glass and stir lightly.  Float a lemon twist as garnish. 

St. Germain Cocktail

-2 shots sparkling wine

-1 ½ shots St. Germain

-2 shots sparkling water

Stir ingredients in a tall, ice-filled glass.  Serve with a lemon twist.

On Monday night I went to a screening of, “Secret Sunshine,” Korean director Chang-dong Lee’s newest film.  After my friends, co-workers and acquaintances rejected my invitation to go see the film, my colleague (Ernest!) finally relented and came as my plus one.  We saw the film at Rose Theater in the Time Warner Center as part of the New York Film Festival.  The screening included a brief question and answer session with Chang-dong Lee, which was a great closing to a disturbingly bleak film.  I found the film to be brilliant, confusing, sad and enlightening.  I will not go into the plot of this film, as I found it fantastic to know virtually nothing about the film.  The most poignant scene for me in the film is when the protagonist, Shin-ae, goes to visit her son’s murderer in prison.  Shin-ae has recently found God and has gone to prison to offer her forgiveness, but when she arrives the murderer tells her he too has found God; who has offered him forgiveness and atonement for his sins.  Horrified by the idea her son’s killer has been forgiven by someone other than her, Shin-ae faints in the parking lot of the jail.  Something about this scene touched me and made me realize it is acceptable to feel.  Throughout the film Shin-ae is learning to cope with one horrifying experience after another, showing the human will to survive.  No, my life has not been horribly affected by anyone, so I cannot try to say this woman’s experience is anything like my own.  Actually, it’s quite rude to relate my own salvation in this woman’s experience.  I can’t help but find the film’s narcissistic relevance in my life and felt it allowed me the right to be angry, justifying my desire to not be the bigger person.  In order to find happiness in my life, I need to find contentment and closure on my issues.  The film helped give me closure on some of the recent events in my life.  I suppose one can find meaning in most anything, if one looks hard enough.  I am looking for closure and purpose.

After the film I parted ways with Ernest and stopped at Bouchon Bakery To-Go for a CB&J.  Thomas Keller, one of my numerous chef crushes, expanded his restaurant empire to include this fantastically chic carry-out counter.  I am a fan of the CB&J, a Toasted Brioche Cashew Butter and Apricot Jam Sandwich.  Since it was just a little before 9 PM, the pastry display cases were virtually empty save for a few pastries, the sandwiches, soup and chocolate tarts.  I ordered a bran muffin and a CB&J.  The muffin was packed into a little bag, which I saved for breakfast the following morning.  I waited a few minutes for the kitchen to toast my sandwich.  They coat the thick slices of brioche in butter before toasting the sandwich, giving a grilled cheese like crisp buttery crust.  Unfortunately, the sandwich was not warm all the way through, leaving the sandwich lacking its usual gooey cashew butter middle.  Despite the temperature issues, the sandwich was a welcome warm treat.  Overall, it was a soul satisfying Monday night adventure.

I am amused by acrotomophilia, although I think it’s wrong to fetishize physical attributes, the amputees deserve a fetish. I am confused by apotemnophilia, as we don’t have many limbs, so achieving orgasm from this sounds highly implausible. Unfortunately, I will admit a mild case of algolagnia.

“When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.”

-James H. Boren

Kelly’s Crab Cake was a little dry and there was almost no pretzel flavor, it was a visual garnish to the dish.  My tuna was just crusted and the curry sauce complimented the dish perfectly.  There was something that looked like the honshimeji mushrooms, but the consistency of spetzel, which was too salty and sort of ruined the salt level of the whole dish.  Overall the veggies and curry were the highlight of the dish.  Kelly’s Lobster Scramble looked great, arriving in its own ostridge half-shell sitting atop an All-Clad mini pot with a side of toasted brioche served in a silver plated toast holder.  The Scramble also tasted great, it was piping hot and rich, although I thought the crème fraîche was a little overkill.  I had selected my dessert at the last minute, as in the excitement of seeing Kelly again, I had forgotten to even glance at that portion of the menu.  From my previous experiences there I knew to steer clear of the Butterscotch Panna Cotta and Warm & Crisp Apple Tart, in hindsight I should have ordered the Mixed Fruit & Berries to go with such a heavy lunch.  My dessert was alright, the passion fruit sorbet and fruit compote were light and refreshing.  The chocolate mousse was nothing special and the two desserts were served on opposite sides of the plate, I thought the flavors were fine together, but not usual nor unusual—just there together.  Kelly’s Coconut Layer Cake, was not really cake and it wasn’t layered.  There seemed to be something missing to the dish, but perhaps it was the strawberry sauce she chose not to add, as there was already passion fruit sauce.  Overall, the lunch was good, it was what I’d expected.  I had actually wanted the starter and dessert Kelly ordered, but was so glad I didn’t get either one.  I hope to go back again for dessert, or the Chef’s Salad, which looked amazing at someone else’s table.  Yum.

Also, over lunch Kelly and I had a therapeutic conversation about The Ex.  *oh my, I’m talking about personal stuff.*  I finally offered my side of the story and filled in the gaps.  As usual, I had to preface it with, this is obviously my side of the story, I don’t want to disregard the fact you’re friends with him and I know I was wrong too.  She was receptive and even updated me on how he is doing.  I think I will always be curious.  She said he wants to talk and since he feels wronged, doesn’t understand why I am the one who won’t talk to him.  I understand where he is coming from, but I think there is a lot of lingering pain as we wronged each other.  He had told Kelly to say hello to me the last time I saw Kelly, to which she said he’d wanted to restart communication with me.  I told Kelly I wasn’t ready to say hi back to him.  Alright, that is enough personal information.  I’m rara dating and trying to be happy rara avis, not gloomy about The Ex.  Good food + conversation = therapeutic lunch.  Rara Therapy.

Your food wows me.  From your Portland restaurant’s amazing flavor pairings (the foie gras terrine in August was fantastic) to your good deeds (albeit via the James Beard foundation, I do love a kiss ass), my love for your culinary genius overwhelms my taste buds.  My palette aches for you.  The New York Times has even convinced me I need to move to the city where my mother lives, something no one else has been able to do, but I am considering because I want to eat your food everyday.  Writing this letter brings me to a chef-crazed groupie status, making it impossible for me to ever actually be friends with you.  In my defense, how can I resist professing my love for a chef that Food & Wine says, “he’s talented and bold enough to play with classic dishes that might include…an entire field’s worth of vegetables.”  *sigh*  That’s not even what I love about your food, although I would love to eat an entire field of Pacific Northwest veggies.  Oh and they quote you as saying, “I love any tongue.”  *audibly giggling*  Me too.

One of your groupies,

rara avis.